A little Chickadee

8x10" ©2013

This piece has been a new challenge for me. I have been starting to feel a little bogged down with my common settings of bird in flight or resting on a bare branch, and I have felt like I needed something new to keep me moving forward to grow and trust God to lead the way. I fell in love with this little photo on Pinterest of a chickadee clinging upside down to these flowers and thought it might just be the new model God has intended to teach me through.

I often feel as though each bird I paint and each painting have something new to teach me, and so far this last month as I have been working on these intricate flower pedals, the learning curve has been up!  It has taken longer as perfectionist tendencies are up trying to make each detail exact, and needing time to tell myself to breath it will get there, you haven't done this before, it is okay! 

I also liked the idea of the bird hanging upside down as it relates to the upside-down world we live in. As I have shown this work to others and found that they feel uncomfortable with the positioning of the bird and are often tempted to turn it. Making another great connection of how uncomfortable growth can be to us and those around us as it happens. But mostly bringing out the longing our world to be set straight again. 

I am still learning and working...

"And now, just as. You accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots go down into him, and let your lives be built on him."

Colossians 2:6-7

Galatians 5:1-9

Growth Drawing ©2013

I wanted to share a little drawing I did that was inspired by the Sermon this week at church by Galyn Wiemers on Galations 5:1-9. I thought it was a wonderful description of freedom and growth in Christ. This sermon really spoke to the core of what I believe.

Here is the link if you want to check it out. 

Galatians 5:1-9 Galyn Wiemers

The Shame Project

I was recently asked to do a small project on how I viewed shame in my life. I thought I might share it here. The first has the shaming statements that often run through my head inside the profile. Outside of the profile are the positive aspects of who I am, the words of truths of who I am. The other image should lay to the right of the first, with the crowd of profiles labeled in cursive speaking their thoughts of who, what and how we should be, intentionally and unintentionally into us, often feeding into the unattainable standards that fan the flames of shame.

0utter Truth, Inner Shame 11x8.5" ©2013

Voices of Shame 11x8.5" ©2013

Pretending Mask

In the last two weeks I have had more time than I have had in months! A shocking sign of summer. I miss the hustle-bustel of school and events, moving and whirling through life. It seems easier to know my purpose and direction when there is always something to do.Then summer comes and all the exterior doing comes to a halt, this summer more than others it seems.

I have time to rest and think, to reflect more deeply, and it seems that I resist the blessing. God always has something to show me, but I am stubborn. I have been making an effort to enjoy and know I am not a human doing but a human being, that this Summer season often reminds me.

As I have reflected I have noticed the pretending mask has found its way out of the closet and onto my face in weaponry station. I've brought it up to guard myself from the shame of the past, and to help me to hide from the truth that there is still work to be done here.

My mask shows the brilliant colors of healing, works, and wonderful chameleon techniques. It boasts in rebellion, and laughs at lies. It pleases and proves itself to onlookers. Protecting the owner from seeing the shame, hurt, lies, and defeat of the present and past.

Now that I see the mask I can take it down and look around a bit. I am letting God in to help sift through the lies that have caused my eyes to be blinded from the difference between legalism and natural fuits of the Spirit, and reading the Bible on a regualr basis because of my love for Him and a genuine heart to grow, not because it is what a "good Christian" does. The lines are still blurry for me but I am beginning to see.

I want to be honest about where I am in my walk of Faith, and not feel ashamed of who I am. I want to know acceptance and patientce from the Church. I want to be secure in not having it all together.

One more step into living a life of courage.

Bird sitings!

I have been going on a lot of walks this spring on the wooded paths by my home. I will say that this year I have seen more birds than ever on my walks and have enjoyed the blessing of the presence ever so much!

I am starting to older if they are my "whale" or "starfish" like in the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. When I accepted my first teaching position just a few weeks ago, the minute I got off the phone with the principal I saw a hummingbird and a Baltimore oriole in our backyard at the same time! Previously I had not seen a hummingbird yet this season, and I have only once seen a Baltimore oriole at Grey's Lake in downtown Des Moines. 

Yesterday as I was working on a new painting I was thinking about how many birds I have seen this year and what a blessing it has been. Jesus letting me know He loves and cares for me. I was thinking how now I have seen all of the birds I have painted in several times except for an Indigo Bunting, and was wondering if I would ever see one, as they are not common I my area. 

I just couldn't help but sharing that this morning I saw my first Indigo Bunting as my mom and I were walking! I am so excited! She pointed out the little bluebird thinking maybe it was another Eastern bluebird that we had seen earlier in the month, but no there was the little deep bluebird, changing color as the sun hit his feathers from blue to black and back to brilliant blue! What a beautiful sight!

The morning for me was quite perfect sharing a long talk with my best friend to wake me up. Sharing our hearts, what Jesus is teaching us, and lifting each other up in prayer, couldn't be more refreshing and encouraging! The a nice shower and a beautiful walk with my mother sharing in fellowship, and a little gift of the Indigo Bunting siting!

I would love to hear about your "whales", "starfish", and Indigo Buntings God places in your life to remind you he loves you!

Violet-Backed Starling

Fierce Violet-Backed Starling © 2013

A friend and I are doing a painting swap. She wanted me to paint her this bird, while she does a quote painting for me that I chose. I titled it Fierce with the subtitle as the type of bird. My friend is drawn to fierce and bold things and I think she tries to live her life in a similar way, not always going with the norm but blazing her own path in life. I will share hers here once we swap!

A prayer on fear

Untitled © 2010

God you know my longing heart.

You hear my fear.

The numbing racing rumbling fear.

It takes my joy, it steals my peace.

It beckons unpleasant things.

It calls out to me with incessant desperation.

It starts with a whisper and ends with a scream.

That familiar scream, who's answer is an ending.

It questions every thought,

every move,

every choice,

with a painful critique.

But the irrational answer to its call.

In my silence I listen.

In my silence a no.

When in battle my Creator made me quiet.

In my silence my Creator has the power.

The storm,

the wind are His.

I am called to walk.

My hatred and pride I am told to drop.

Love and courage I am asked to take.

Here you are loved.

Here you are worthy.

Here you may be.

Remember the lessons of shame.

Remember the season's change won't damage.

the pain of a muscle growing.

The strength of your soul.

Hope to hold onto.

Here is My Spirit.